so so

My job for this week is to direct people around the university for enrollment day. Why there is no online enrollment completely baffles me. This whole week is dedicated to enrollment. The non stop mist of rain may have deterred some people from venturing out. I have had only a few individuals ask me for directions. The majority of the time I just sit in the rain reading or chatting with the person I was paired up with. Now I am on another break.
I feel like things in my life are ok today, which is a start. I began my weekend infuriated because we were set to have a house inspection this week. My mom has multiple projects happening at once which she doesn’t have the time or energy to get to. The result was a growing junk pile outside of our house. I felt abandoned to the mess as she wasn’t home and I found my self with a gargantuan task ahead of me.
We are a household of too much stuff, a place of chaos. Chaos that needed to be sorted before a landlord saw the firehazard that our home had become.
Our house had become a metaphor for the state of my mothers and my relationship–a pile of undealt with crap. My muscles are sore from hauling things and rearranging furniture.
But my mother and I have had a truce of sorts. The wear and tear of living in a foriegn country in constant poverty has weighed on us both. So we have at least agreed to try to get along. I am relieved that over the past couple of days there has been a reduction in awkward or angry silences. I missed her, I missed getting along with her. I know that I need to move out and live in my own space, so it would be good to leave on good terms.
I have a couple temporary gigs going, and I am crossing my fingers that I get this graphics/admin job that would go for the next couple months. Then I would finally have the money to fly to New Zealand and apply for my next visa. And thankfully be able to visit my boy. All in all I have a mild optimism. Like a film of sorts. My only sadness is that I really really miss my boy. It’s unbearable. Last time I saw him was October .